So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more
sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more
sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not
only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.
A Sexual Revelation
After about two months without sex, I began to descend on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams - that period of time when I begin to feel asexual because I've abstained from sexuality for so long. We’ve all been there. Moreover, my sexual prospects were looking fairly grim: I was about to embark on a three week family vacation to New Zealand.
I had no idea of the hunk that was about to show me the importance of appreciation, mutuality and transparency in sexual intimacy.
Coming out of a relationship with an incredibly narcissistic man in both the intimate sense (putting his pleasure before mine) and in the normative expectations of a cooperative relationship, I felt incredibly depleted. On recommendation, I began to read “Making Life Easy,” by Dr. Christiane Northrup, and it revolutionized my fucking life.
While reading the book on the 6-hour bus ride to Auckland, almost by fate, I sat down next to a stranger named Gabe. After a heated conversation that lasted the entirety of the train ride, we spent the next three days indulging in a transient romance that offered me the most groundbreaking sex of my life. Groundbreaking? He actually put my pleasure first, showed me how beautiful I truly was, and was refreshingly straightforward about our intimacy as opposed to either castigating my advances or showcasing his “catch.” It was completely normal. And it was fucking incredible.
Sexuality as a Manifestation of the Vital Life Force
Everybody deserves mutually appreciative sex, and self-appreciative self-pleasuring. Education is a fundamental instrument in debunking stigmas, which is why it's so important to be aware of the health benefits and ever-expansive vitalizing effects of sexuality.
As explained by Northrup in “Making Life Easy,” the vital life force is the creative surge that flows through our Spirits, bodies and minds as desire, excitement, physical pleasure, sexuality, and curiosity. Known in Sanskrit as “Shakti,” the vital life force is a direct connection between Spirit and body, and is responsible for living a full and enriching life. As a fire within, if harnessed, it can enhance the everyday multifaceted activities of living on physical, metaphysical, emotional, and spiritual levels.
You’re probably wondering about the validity of The Vital Life Force because as a concept it’s contradictory to naturalist ontology: the Western thought that prevails our society and deems other ontologies illegitimate. Spirituality is often castigated as so but it is imperative to give it its due respect. There are several other ways of conceptualizing the world that are as equally credible as “civilized” thought.
Sexuality is the physical manifestation of the vital life force. It emerges in feelings of promiscuity, and in feelings of pure vitality and ecstasy. The beauty of this sexual energy is that it can be transmuted to several aspects of life, to transform mediocrity into genius. As explained in “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill, transmutation is the ability to channel “sexual energy and sexual desire into keen imagination, courage, willpower, and creative ability.” As adolescents, we were taught that puberty was a hormone-fueled time of chaos and teachings of sexuality centered on shame, doubt, and embarrassment. There were several after-school activities that aimed to provide more constructive outlets for sexual energy.
This misrepresentation and injustice to our sexual energy, and sometimes even sexual trauma, can manifest in the body. As explained by Dr. Northrup, this creates blockages in the areas of the body that are associated with the vital regenerative life force, such as the anus, genitals, and buttocks; for women, it can also manifest in the breasts. These blockages can result in numb vaginas and chronic pelvic pain.
Moreover, Northrup recounts that women who have been sexually abused tend to store emotional and physical pain in the fascia and pelvis, and particularly in the G-spot. She remarks on her experience as an ob/gyn that it “astounded [her] that almost no one was talking about how the common gynecological disorders suffered by so many women were directly related to their experiences as women in a patriarchal culture.”
These blockages, when left to fester, deeply exacerbate the life experience, leaving thousands of people feeling empty, depressed, or simply in a rut.
How does one move forward and heal? Northrup recounts how for many women, the deliberate pursuit of pleasure and connection with their erotic life force assisted in healing many disorders: from abnormal Pap smears and infertility to lung and bowel cancer. This is due to nitric oxide, which is produced in the lining of blood vessels during pleasurable or healthful activities such as exercise, sex, meditation, and any kind of sustainable pleasure. Nitric oxide enhances blood flow throughout the body, and as a copious neurotransmitter, it balances serotonin, dopamine, endorphins and other “happy” chemicals in the body and brain. This chemical is coupled with DMT, a natural neurotransmitter produced in the brain (not just a potent hallucinogen) released during orgasm by the pineal gland. In many esoteric circles, the pineal gland is renowned as the third eye. Both DMT and nitric oxide are produced in exuberant amounts at the moment of death. Connect with your third eye and get freaky!
Tips for Moving Forward
Now that you see how important sex is to the body, Spirit and mind, you are probably wondering how to possibly move forward with this information. Thankfully, Dr. Northrup has laid out four fundamental ways to connect to your vital life force:
1. Turn yourself on to life: begin to notice what turns you on, if an activity makes you feel
more alive, do more of that activity.
2. Deliberately pursue pleasure: Set up your day so that you have experiences that bring
you pleasure; make pleasure a part of your lifestyle.
3. Engage in mindful sexual expression: when you are making love, either to yourself
through self-pleasure or to someone else, be present. Notice all the feelings that come
with this expression.
4. Learning how to own and operate your own erotic anatomy: Self-pleasure! Refrain from
using the word “masturbate” which has shame tied into its literal translation (“to defile
with one’s hand”). There are many sources (see below) that demonstrate techniques on
how to self-pleasure if you’re unsure how to begin.
Most importantly, be an advocate for your right to sexual expression in a patriarchal society that ties so much shame and guilt to sexual acts. Stop slut shaming. Support other women. Stop worrying about your “number.” Sex revitalizes your entire being, and you are wholly entitled to it. You are your own being and it is your right to pursue pleasure. A website made by women for women, OMGYes, is a great source to aid you in overcoming the deep-set stereotypes for women’s promiscuity. As a vlog-style resource, OMGYes aims to be “a resource dedicated to exploring how women can find greater sexual fulfillment." After conducting research with more than 2,000 women, ages 18-95, they created a website where real people - not actors - share their stories and demonstrate their techniques.
You do what vitalizes your life, and don’t give a fuck about what the patriarchy has to say about it.