I Almost Had to Accept a Compliment I Deserved
By White Liberal Female
3 · 17 · 2019
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — from the comment threads of Instagram
As you all know, my sisters-in-arms and I have been engaged in a decades-long resistance against accepting any and all compliments, especially those we deserve. For years, all females currently in existence have been engaged in a relentless standoff. None have yielded, even when complimented by multiple peers on multiple fronts. That honored tradition has been up-kept for decades, but I narrowly avoided soiling its unmarred history last Tuesday.
It all started when I posted pictures from my weekend trip to Santa Barbara. After carefully curating a balanced ratio of glamour shots, friend shots, and candids, I hit “post.” I was not prepared for what would happen next.
Jessica from English 85 commented. Normal stuff. “You’re so beautiful heartface heartface!” But when I replied, “No way Jessie-bear. YOU’RE so beautiful!!!! tonguestickingoutface,” she didn’t relent.
“I’m serious! You’re my fashion inspiration on the daily blushingface heart”
I began to get nervous. I chose my next words carefully:
“Stop it, you’re gorgeous.”
“Not as gorgeous as you in these photos!”
I stared blankly at the screen of my phone. Didn’t this girl understand that no means no??
She went even further, commenting on her own comment:
“I can really see your inner beauty shining through. Stay golden, inside and out!”
This bitch was out to get me.
I had no other choice. I knew what I had to do. I pressed the red heart by her message and exited the app.